Ten Great Humour: Use It to Pick Up Women

Humour, some say, is the fruit of life, and this is especially true when it comes to picking up on a girl no matter where the location. Make them laugh, and I guarantee, that you are very close to getting their phone number and even to getting them to go out with you.

But, as we all know, making them laugh, is easier said than done. Precisely for those who find it difficult to come up with something funny to say, I am adding some funny anecdotes and wise cracks that you can memorize and then use in those situations where you need to get the girl in front of you to laugh.

1) The Prescription:

Did you hear of the lady, who walked into the pharmacist and asked for arsenic?
The man behind the counter asked in wonder, “What do you need that for?
The lady calmly replied,” to kill my husband.”
The pharmacist was taken aback,” Are you crazy? Do you want to get us both into jail? And, anyway, why do you want to kill him? Go to a counselor. Get help for your marriage.”
The lady paused and from her purse she removed a set of pictures of her husband and the wife of the pharmacist in some very creative postures.
The pharmacist looked at the snaps, put them down and smiled,” lady, why did you not tell me that you have a prescription?”

2) The Tip Book

A wife calls out to her husband, “Have you seen the book, 101 Tips to Live for More Than a Hundred Years?
The husband sheepishly replies, “I burnt it.”
“What?” the wife shouted out,” why?”
The husband whispered back,” Because your mother wanted to read it.”

3) Range of Food

Looking at his wife fry meat balls in all kinds of shapes and sizes, Tom tapped her on the shoulder, “Why?”
His wife turned,” Because you asked for a variety of food.”

4) Mushrooms

Tom was picking mushrooms from the forest floor with his wife, when she picked up one and showed it to Tom,” Is this for eating?”
Tom smiled,” Yes. As long as you do not cook it.”

5) Driving Around

Tom greeted his wife when she returned home,” So, my dear, how was your first time driving all alone?”
His wife smiled coyly, “Do you want to hear it from me or read about it in the papers?

6) Drama

A couple are watching a film in their local theater when the wife snuggles close to her husband and points to the screen,” Do you think that they will get married in the end?”
The husband sighs,” Yes. These movies always have bad endings.”

7) The Library

Tom visited the local library, walks up to the librarian and asks, “Do you know where I can find the book, the Supremacy of Men over Women?”
The librarian conducts a short search on the computer and looks up,” you will be able to find it in the science fiction.”

Grandfather

A grandfather and his grandson was talking: Grandson: Grandpa, yesterday there was someone falling from third floor, Strange he still live!!
Grandfather: ah, that’s amazing! When I was young, my grandfather had fallen from the 6th floor! only the ring finger sprain,
Grandchildren: wow !! Grandpa great!! (while staring admiringly). Grandfather said again: But THE OTHERS, ALL BROKEN ^

9) Black Sheep

A shepherd was herding his sheep.A passing said,”You have a good flock.Can I ask you some questions about the sheep?”"Sure,”said shepherd.
The man said, “How far is your sheep walk every day?”
“Which one, the white or black?”
“The White.”
“Ah, the white walking about six miles every day.”
“And the black?”
“The black, too.”
“And how much grass they eat every day?”
“Which one, the white or black?”
“The White.”
“Ah, the white dinner about four pounds of grass every day.”
“And the black?”
“The black, too.”
“And how much fur they produce every year?”
“Which one, the white or black?”
“The White.”
“according to my estimates, the white which produces furs around six pounds each year if they were shaved.” “And the black?”"The black, too.”
People who asked to be curious. “May I ask, why do you have a strange habit, distinguish your sheep become white and black sheep every time..
you answer my question?” Shepherd replied, “Of course. The white is mine, Ooo, and the black?”
“The black, too,” said the shepherd.

10) Grandmother

At a post office, a grandmother want to send a letter to her grandson. Because she forgot to bring glasses, she finally asks for help of a clerk at the post office counter . Grandma said, “Can you help write the address on this envelope?”.
After the officer wrote down the address counter, the old woman said, “Can you help write the letter?” After writing the letter.
With great sincerity and joy, the postal clerk asked the grandmother, “What else can I help you, Grandma?”
Then the grandmother said, “Please add in the letter, NB: Sorry, bad writing.

Conclusion:

While some of these might sound offensive, if you use them well you will be able to display not just a sense of humour, but also that you are exactly the opposite of the stereotype. How? Immediately, after you done, lean over and whisper, But I am not like that, and if you allow me to take you out, you will see that for yourself.

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